1. |
Dog Star
04:34
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Distant stars so close to me now
That they hold the weight that a mind won’t allow
I rise to follow, my body lays still
And I leave it to lay with the trouble below
I need a ride to a moment in time
Past this violence where my body is mine
If you cannot leave you must take the high road
So I packed up my thoughts and I moved to the moon
Content to drift and fade in and out
Teasing the seas with the pull of my mood
Losing my skin like the stars shed their light
A wayfaring shadow returned to the night
Part of me leaves so that all of me stays
Intact for later when I’m back in one piece
The body sinks like an anchor down deep
Time travels lightly and puts trauma to sleep
This journey is love speaking in tongues
Riddles to unravel as memory is undone
No one knows the way I break down.
Behold my Dog Star rise, and
Find your way back through time.
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2. |
Bad Faith
05:43
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Wait, I’ll save us both some time
I think I may have left myself behind
And now, when faced with my whole life
I see I’ve compromised by being fine
No one wins by hiding their dreams
I couldn’t tell you, the truth would just disappoint
And besides you won’t listen
Wait, I can hardly breath
So for god’s sake let’s just please go back to sleep
And when we awake we’ll realize
How misshapen we’ve become to fit our lives
Who have we become just to sleep
Bad faith is all I am left
I couldn’t tell you, the truth would just disappoint
And besides you won’t listen
How could I tell how lonely it is?
Unable to say what it is that I feel…
And should I reveal what is burning in me,
You tell me the truth is just not what it seems.
I couldn’t tell you, the truth would just disappoint
And besides you won’t listen
No longer will I deny
The self that seeks to reach the other side
Far away from where we hide
The best parts of ourselves in deep denial
Bad faith in you, bad faith in me
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3. |
In All But Name
04:41
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I’m beginning to fade into every shade
Leaving the light on to reflect as it may
I’m making you laugh to be distracting
Detract from the fact Im nearly crying
Words catch in my mouth and I end up lying
All the dumb things that I do just to fool you
Like I’m alright, I’m doing fine
They’re just words that drag behind
When I’m joking, I’m only hiding right in plain sight
But what could I say? I can’t run away..
From the sea that surrounds us and keeps us at bay
It keeps us removed from the violence that moved on
Dead set to prove wrong how far it is you’ve come
It doesn’t help that I feel the pressure
To tell you I’ve gotten so much better
Given you something that you would prefer
All of the stories that I tell just for you
Like I’m alright, I’m doing fine
They’re just words that drag behind
When I’m joking, I’m only hiding right in plain sight
Bad weather forces us indoors
In hopes we might regain control
But when doing good looks just the same
As feeling bad in all but name
Every move I make to break free
I'm more trapped by what I’ve made
I’m alright, it’s so much easier to lie
And if I stop joking there’s no telling
If anyone would really stay and listen
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4. |
Salvage Rights
04:52
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War games
Dead reckoning
I’m wearing thin and thick with it
We’re up against a current so swift
I’m bound to tides I can’t defend
And you can’t afford to risk the swim
Word games
In glass houses
Out of the blue you’ve had enough
Trouble is worse when you’re not the cause
And nothing we did despite ourselves
Was be able to mend it from the start
Warm graves
Day by day
I’m catching my breath in spite of it
Raising my head a captive to no one
No one but me can learn to love
The ship I build is the one i sail home on
It’s not fair that I’m
Breaking down but you
Still would leave me when
I was down and out
Even though I stayed
When you were the same
Every day I try
To stay together, I
Can’t believe that you’d leave me
When I was going down
Just say what you wanted to say
Abandon the ship, I’m going down either way
Now is your chance to escape
Drowning like lovers awake in the night
Laying claim to each other’s salvage rights
Ever alone in the fight
It’s not fair that I’m
Going down again
Knowing that I gave
Everything to save
You from where you were
Lost & drowning
But when I’m reaching out
For the help I need now
I am just a sinking ship
That you have abandoned
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5. |
Breakwater
03:15
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Here I am
At last run aground
Here in this strange, yet familiar shroud
Will I stay in one place
Long enough to see my own face
Loneliness is no man that I’ve met
But an island where all of my memories are kept
They cling to the coast
With their arms in the air
Waiting forever for
Me to appear
But at first I don’t see
From where they hide
Harboring the darkness
Of my former life
I can’t see
I can’t breath
I can’t see
me…..
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6. |
Unknown Lands
04:47
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We die young
From hearts laid out
In the jaws of the sun
hopes undone
And under the skin
Grief grows old
With the slipping of sand from within
Places unsaid
We fear the thought of unknown lands...
Does it make any difference?
We hide away from unknown lands…
In misguided deference.
In the battle between you and I
Time is the road that divides us
Leaves us blind
Let’s call it a day
Like the time we forgot
All the names of
Everyday things
That anchor the map
Lines carved out of
the days that won’t pass on
With no way home
We run away from unknown lands…
Fearing disappointment
Of all that waits in unknown lands
There’s no need for atonement
In the battle between you and I
Time is the road that divides us
Hides our crimes
If you could go back and rewrite
All the hurt in your life what new
Shadow would you find?
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7. |
Failure To Thrive
04:22
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Nobody wanted to see you
And all of the pieces that brought you down
How every day was page from
A story that they never meant to read
In your heart the sun’s rolling over
In order to cope with another day
Living like a fish out of water
Catch and release is a kind of death
But whose is the failure to thrive when
Everyone saw but nobody stepped in
And now that the rust has come off
The truth was right below the surface
How did you handle your anger?
When you discovered you’d been ignored.
You realized that love isn’t really
Enough to make sure people do their part
What will do you do when you’re older?
Unable to say why you never been proud
Handed a life full of tangles
And nothing left over to free yourself
But whose is the failure to thrive when
Everyone saw but nobody stepped in
And now that the past has become
More than a story that you
Tell to make sense of the weight
The terrible waste in turning away
When every move that you make
Is tied to a past you couldn’t shake
We win some and we lose some
what’s leftover when we took nothing
but all was left behind from the kind of
life we’ve tried to build on
Of all that we’ve been given
can we not just be forgiven?
For faults past on from lives unknown
to future dreams left unwritten
Tell me what I’m doing wrong?
I feel like I get nothing done
Each day is a brand new mess
I never feel like I’m doing my best
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8. |
Family Tree
04:57
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Far from where life has flung me
Surrounding, yet just out of view
The shadow of the family tree
Grows tall but bears no fruit
Where are we from
These visions of home, they do not belong to us
In my hands a hurting, a knowledge born of shame
The past I had forgotten, it has not forgotten me
Where are we from
These visions of home, they do not belong to us
Brother what do you see in me?
Rotten fruit and rotting memories.
Promise me that you’ll never leave me behind
Like those who we’ve been abandoned by
Brother I can’t believe we’re still here
Waiting forever to find out that no one was ever there
Sister what are we going do?
At least you’ve got me, and I’ve got you
Brother I can’t believe we’re still here
Waiting forever to find out that no one was ever there
Sister what are we going to do
At least you’ve got me and I’ve got you
Where are we from
These visions of home, they do not belong to us
Where are we from
These visions of home, that carry no love for us
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9. |
Whale Song
06:19
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You couldn’t be more wrong, I am not as lonely as you are
And at the bottom of the sea, dancing in the dark you’ll find me
It’s quiet now, It never used to be so still before I found
A way around myself
You can’t escape the net you laid for your own sake
Under the violent, swelling tide
Of pride laid down just to face the night
I was drowning in water meant to keep
Me afloat as I tried to breach
The deep cold weight of a mind left hiding
From every kind of relief
I’ll head back North in the spring
Is the whole world watching me?
You couldn’t be wait for a sign
That I’m still breathing, I’m still alive
And in the back of your mind
I’m singing in the dark just to get by
A silence so low it captures every breath
With each exhale you try to catch up to your death
Finding space between every note I sing
A brief escape from a life lived on repeat
Another year goes by, another day and night
If you don’t know me now, you’ll know me when it’s right
I’m not alone and I have not forgotten
Who I am or my sense of belonging
I have myself, in case you had forgotten
That loneliness is not always a burden
For here I am, the sum of all of my decisions
Wide awake and proof of just another reason
I have myself, in case you had forgotten
Loneliness lives in the absence of forgiveness
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10. |
Harrow
06:13
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Shelter from rough waters
Forgiveness in safe harbor
Mind and body dividing
Loneliness come asunder
Well and away
Over the land and over sea
The bed where we lay
Made by the waves that broke
Apart those promises made
I won’t forget they way
they turned away from me
Harrow, sadness is king
Lift up your bitterness and
Change your name for me
Harrow, we are reborn
Wear their indifference
Like thunder on the tip of your tongue
Break open the bay, the ties that bind
And weigh you down are nothing to me
We will endure the tides
That pull hard down at our feet
I won’t forget the way you never let go of me
Harrow, tears as they fall
Walls rise up brick by brick
A sorrow ten feet tall
Harrow, reap what you sow
I have come to gather you
And peel your armor off
In a dream I had
You were walking down the street
And i ran when before
I could not move I could not speak
Here and now I’ve come upon you
To break the claim you dared to make
For every woman harrowed by the
Names we dare not speak
How we are harrowed, hiding in plain sight
All but hollow. Where is tomorrow
Here at last come to reconcile
So soon to follow finding forgiveness
In letting go
We will never forget but we can move beyond
The demons planted within weed every shadow out
And make your fury your friend they won’t forget the day
We grew a garden from it
Love has returned, can you forgive it?
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Future Scars New Mexico
~ Heavy Feels ~
Eliza | Guitar + Vox
Dylan M. | Drums
Paul | Bass
Dylan B. | Keys
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