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Harrow

by Future Scars

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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Limited edition double LP vinyl with transparent violet & orange vinyl (one of each) and a jacket featuring laser cut album art. Includes a 14 page booklet featuring lyrics with original watercolor & ink illustrations for each song. Cover & booklet art and design by Future Scars' guitarist and vocalist Eliza Lutz. (Note: Vinyl photo is a digital mock up and color may vary)

    Includes unlimited streaming of Harrow via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 7 days
    edition of 300 

      $25 USD or more 

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    A companion 14 page booklet featuring original illustrations for each song and lyrics. Future Scars' guitarist/vocalist Eliza Lutz created all of the album art, leaning into her synesthesia to compose each song first in color and later bringing the music back into visual form through watercolor & ink illustrations. The album is written in two color themes, murky lilac and burnt orange, present throughout the artwork. Includes a CD.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Harrow via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 7 days
    edition of 300 

      $10 USD or more 

     

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $8 USD  or more

     

1.
Dog Star 04:34
Distant stars so close to me now That they hold the weight that a mind won’t allow I rise to follow, my body lays still And I leave it to lay with the trouble below I need a ride to a moment in time Past this violence where my body is mine If you cannot leave you must take the high road So I packed up my thoughts and I moved to the moon Content to drift and fade in and out Teasing the seas with the pull of my mood Losing my skin like the stars shed their light A wayfaring shadow returned to the night Part of me leaves so that all of me stays Intact for later when I’m back in one piece The body sinks like an anchor down deep Time travels lightly and puts trauma to sleep This journey is love speaking in tongues Riddles to unravel as memory is undone No one knows the way I break down. Behold my Dog Star rise, and Find your way back through time.
2.
Bad Faith 05:43
Wait, I’ll save us both some time I think I may have left myself behind And now, when faced with my whole life I see I’ve compromised by being fine No one wins by hiding their dreams I couldn’t tell you, the truth would just disappoint And besides you won’t listen Wait, I can hardly breath So for god’s sake let’s just please go back to sleep And when we awake we’ll realize How misshapen we’ve become to fit our lives Who have we become just to sleep Bad faith is all I am left I couldn’t tell you, the truth would just disappoint And besides you won’t listen How could I tell how lonely it is? Unable to say what it is that I feel… And should I reveal what is burning in me, You tell me the truth is just not what it seems. I couldn’t tell you, the truth would just disappoint And besides you won’t listen No longer will I deny The self that seeks to reach the other side Far away from where we hide The best parts of ourselves in deep denial Bad faith in you, bad faith in me
3.
I’m beginning to fade into every shade Leaving the light on to reflect as it may I’m making you laugh to be distracting Detract from the fact Im nearly crying Words catch in my mouth and I end up lying All the dumb things that I do just to fool you Like I’m alright, I’m doing fine They’re just words that drag behind When I’m joking, I’m only hiding right in plain sight But what could I say? I can’t run away.. From the sea that surrounds us and keeps us at bay It keeps us removed from the violence that moved on Dead set to prove wrong how far it is you’ve come It doesn’t help that I feel the pressure To tell you I’ve gotten so much better Given you something that you would prefer All of the stories that I tell just for you Like I’m alright, I’m doing fine They’re just words that drag behind When I’m joking, I’m only hiding right in plain sight Bad weather forces us indoors In hopes we might regain control But when doing good looks just the same As feeling bad in all but name Every move I make to break free I'm more trapped by what I’ve made I’m alright, it’s so much easier to lie And if I stop joking there’s no telling If anyone would really stay and listen
4.
War games Dead reckoning I’m wearing thin and thick with it We’re up against a current so swift I’m bound to tides I can’t defend And you can’t afford to risk the swim Word games In glass houses Out of the blue you’ve had enough Trouble is worse when you’re not the cause And nothing we did despite ourselves Was be able to mend it from the start Warm graves Day by day I’m catching my breath in spite of it Raising my head a captive to no one No one but me can learn to love The ship I build is the one i sail home on It’s not fair that I’m Breaking down but you Still would leave me when I was down and out Even though I stayed When you were the same Every day I try To stay together, I Can’t believe that you’d leave me When I was going down Just say what you wanted to say Abandon the ship, I’m going down either way Now is your chance to escape Drowning like lovers awake in the night Laying claim to each other’s salvage rights Ever alone in the fight It’s not fair that I’m Going down again Knowing that I gave Everything to save You from where you were Lost & drowning But when I’m reaching out For the help I need now I am just a sinking ship That you have abandoned
5.
Breakwater 03:15
Here I am At last run aground Here in this strange, yet familiar shroud Will I stay in one place Long enough to see my own face Loneliness is no man that I’ve met But an island where all of my memories are kept They cling to the coast With their arms in the air Waiting forever for Me to appear But at first I don’t see From where they hide Harboring the darkness Of my former life I can’t see I can’t breath I can’t see me…..
6.
We die young From hearts laid out In the jaws of the sun hopes undone And under the skin Grief grows old With the slipping of sand from within Places unsaid We fear the thought of unknown lands... Does it make any difference? We hide away from unknown lands… In misguided deference. In the battle between you and I Time is the road that divides us Leaves us blind Let’s call it a day Like the time we forgot All the names of Everyday things That anchor the map Lines carved out of the days that won’t pass on With no way home We run away from unknown lands… Fearing disappointment Of all that waits in unknown lands There’s no need for atonement In the battle between you and I Time is the road that divides us Hides our crimes If you could go back and rewrite All the hurt in your life what new Shadow would you find?
7.
Nobody wanted to see you And all of the pieces that brought you down How every day was page from A story that they never meant to read In your heart the sun’s rolling over In order to cope with another day Living like a fish out of water Catch and release is a kind of death But whose is the failure to thrive when Everyone saw but nobody stepped in And now that the rust has come off The truth was right below the surface How did you handle your anger? When you discovered you’d been ignored. You realized that love isn’t really Enough to make sure people do their part What will do you do when you’re older? Unable to say why you never been proud Handed a life full of tangles And nothing left over to free yourself But whose is the failure to thrive when Everyone saw but nobody stepped in And now that the past has become More than a story that you Tell to make sense of the weight The terrible waste in turning away When every move that you make Is tied to a past you couldn’t shake We win some and we lose some what’s leftover when we took nothing but all was left behind from the kind of life we’ve tried to build on Of all that we’ve been given can we not just be forgiven? For faults past on from lives unknown to future dreams left unwritten Tell me what I’m doing wrong? I feel like I get nothing done Each day is a brand new mess I never feel like I’m doing my best
8.
Family Tree 04:57
Far from where life has flung me Surrounding, yet just out of view The shadow of the family tree Grows tall but bears no fruit Where are we from These visions of home, they do not belong to us In my hands a hurting, a knowledge born of shame The past I had forgotten, it has not forgotten me Where are we from These visions of home, they do not belong to us Brother what do you see in me? Rotten fruit and rotting memories. Promise me that you’ll never leave me behind Like those who we’ve been abandoned by Brother I can’t believe we’re still here Waiting forever to find out that no one was ever there Sister what are we going do? At least you’ve got me, and I’ve got you Brother I can’t believe we’re still here Waiting forever to find out that no one was ever there Sister what are we going to do At least you’ve got me and I’ve got you Where are we from These visions of home, they do not belong to us Where are we from These visions of home, that carry no love for us
9.
Whale Song 06:19
You couldn’t be more wrong, I am not as lonely as you are And at the bottom of the sea, dancing in the dark you’ll find me It’s quiet now, It never used to be so still before I found A way around myself You can’t escape the net you laid for your own sake Under the violent, swelling tide Of pride laid down just to face the night I was drowning in water meant to keep Me afloat as I tried to breach The deep cold weight of a mind left hiding From every kind of relief I’ll head back North in the spring Is the whole world watching me? You couldn’t be wait for a sign That I’m still breathing, I’m still alive And in the back of your mind I’m singing in the dark just to get by A silence so low it captures every breath With each exhale you try to catch up to your death Finding space between every note I sing A brief escape from a life lived on repeat Another year goes by, another day and night If you don’t know me now, you’ll know me when it’s right I’m not alone and I have not forgotten Who I am or my sense of belonging I have myself, in case you had forgotten That loneliness is not always a burden For here I am, the sum of all of my decisions Wide awake and proof of just another reason I have myself, in case you had forgotten Loneliness lives in the absence of forgiveness
10.
Harrow 06:13
Shelter from rough waters Forgiveness in safe harbor Mind and body dividing Loneliness come asunder Well and away Over the land and over sea The bed where we lay Made by the waves that broke Apart those promises made I won’t forget they way they turned away from me Harrow, sadness is king Lift up your bitterness and Change your name for me Harrow, we are reborn Wear their indifference Like thunder on the tip of your tongue Break open the bay, the ties that bind And weigh you down are nothing to me We will endure the tides That pull hard down at our feet I won’t forget the way you never let go of me Harrow, tears as they fall Walls rise up brick by brick A sorrow ten feet tall Harrow, reap what you sow I have come to gather you And peel your armor off In a dream I had You were walking down the street And i ran when before I could not move I could not speak Here and now I’ve come upon you To break the claim you dared to make For every woman harrowed by the Names we dare not speak How we are harrowed, hiding in plain sight All but hollow. Where is tomorrow Here at last come to reconcile So soon to follow finding forgiveness In letting go We will never forget but we can move beyond The demons planted within weed every shadow out And make your fury your friend they won’t forget the day We grew a garden from it Love has returned, can you forgive it?

about

Harrow is dedicated to survivors of sexual violence.

Gratitude to our friends & family with special thanks to:

Our parents, Julian Du Bois, Danica Difilippo, Charlotte Thurman, Annie Campos, James Lutz, Will Dyar, Ben Clary, Kabby Kabakoff, Brothers, Vonnie Kyle, Shayla Blatchford, Paul Groetzinger, Jake Snider, Matt Rosen, Jessica Cunico, Kat Trusty, Raven Emmons, Tamarisk Rose, Luke Carr, Adeliza Backus-Pace, Marisa Demarco, Monica Demarco, Mauro Woody, Henry Hutchinson, Cheryl Gardopee & Brooklyn Morgan.

credits

released August 9, 2019

All songs written by Future Scars.

Eliza Lutz | Guitar + Vocals
Paul Wagner | Bass + Vocals
Dylan Blanchard | Assorted Keyboards
Marcus Difilippo | Drums

Recorded in 2018 by Kabby Kabakoff at Kabby Sound Studios.
Produced by Will Dyar of Hills Audio.
Mixed by Peter Larkin of Lighthouse Recordings.
Mastered by Stephan Hawkes of Interlace Audio.

Trumpet on "Breakwater" by Billy Giaquinto
Guest vocals by Vonnie Kyle and Brothers on "Failure To Thrive" and "Harrow"


© 2018 Eliza Lutz
® 2018 Matron Records LLC
All Rights Reserved

Album art, illustrations & layout by Eliza Lutz.
Artwork © 2018 Eliza Lutz

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Future Scars New Mexico

~ Heavy Feels ~

Eliza | Guitar + Vox
Dylan M. | Drums
Paul | Bass
Dylan B. | Keys

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